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If He Is Protecting Our Nation, Then Who Will Protect Big Oil, Our Children?

by of Montreal

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1.
When I rode in a trolley across your face With a Swedish man I bet that wasn't in your plans for the day My, what a strange day for poor little Nietzsche Why so forlorn? You know we love you, Nietzsche And all of your friends have come to see you, Nietzsche So let us see you, Nietzsche Everyone's waiting, Nietzsche Don't be so sneaky When he smeared a candy bar across your face With a gloveless hand I thought you'd never stop lashing the Swede My, what a strange day for poor little Nietzsche What more could be done on a day like today Then to lock up your heart and quickly swallow the key? Now I'm going to tell you something we can do If you cut off my head, I'll cut yours off for you I'll cut it off for you Poor little Nietzsche Don't be so sneaky What more could be done on a day like today Then to lock up your heart and quickly swallow the key? I like the image of us tossing our heads at a Swedish man I bet he'd never telephone us again Not even to say My, what a strange day for poor little Nietzsche
2.
The cats are clawing at the screen door The neighbors are revving up their cars The world is just exploding now with people And all of their noises are drowning out The cats still clawing at the screen door I was just a hiccup in the rain When you struck me with your cane You made it your life's work to end up a stain The cats are clawing at the screen door The neighbors blast speakers from stereos The world is just exploding now with people And all of their noises are drowning out The cats still clawing at the screen door Crawling at the screen door I was just a hiccup in the rain When you struck me with your cane You made it your life's work to end up a stain Found after a party!
3.
I'm happy today because I'm in love and feeling afraid Oh, I hop off the train singing your name I knock on your door, I don't know what to say When you answer I just smile and say, "Hey!" I'm happy today, I'm up on a cloud And caught in the fray Oh, I'm pacing the floor in the scarf that I wore On the day that we met by the old statuette Of an infant in the nude We both thought it was lewd It's a gas to be cast in the haze And I've been there for days Yes, I've been there for days I wanted to play the fabulous game you taught me yesterday But it's impossible to play when you're away I take all of my books and I toss them aside I don't want to read them now Proust pales to you, somehow It's a gas to be cast in the haze And I've been there for days Yes, I've been there for days I'm so turned on that nothing can bum my trip It's a gas to be cast in the haze And I've been there for days Yes, I've been there for days
4.
Mimi Merlot How low?
5.
I'm such a vulnerable lad With nothing to protect me From your world so bright and full of laughter I went home and sank my head into the pillow I close my eyes and try to hear it again To hear you laughing again I cried in a dream While staying at your place I tried to talk about it over breakfast But you made a joke out of it And I never told you why, my, my My, didn't it seem like you were only playing with me I wrote you a letter on the flight home Which evolved into a love poem So of course I couldn't send it then I cried in a dream While staying at your place I'm such a vulnerable lad With nothing to protect me From your world so bright and full of laughter
6.
There's a hole in my sock Where my shoe always bites it And that's got to stop or else I'll feel foolish at the sock-hop, yeah The sacraments slouch Near the garnish toupet with ceramic My name's Marcus and I'm a Martian mime Well, of course I'm a mime Where do you think I got This scoop of Scottish cheese And not a brick From brown government buildings? There's a cloud in my clock Where the seconds always chide it And that's got to stop If I'm going to ride aboard the herbivore, yeah Whose hourglass fingers Look starved through the mask My name's Cassius and I've metamorphosized Into a nosy guest talking dresses Made of pheasant breasts From magazine gown gazebo And a red-sabred pompous horseman There's a glare from my smock Where a cardinal ate his shadow And that's got to stop If I'm going to garnish an acorn souffl? The clowns kneel down and pray That the police will go away After first giving them back their balms So they can swat each other's bearded faces Once again, once again There's an "oh my" and "my goodness" Genuflecting as in battle And that's got to stop If I'm going to convert a bouncing Chan Marshall
7.
Freddy: Look, Charlie, all I'm saying is, she's nothing special. Well, I see ten girls a day just like her out on the thoroughfare Charlie: Well, I don't think there's any girl out there like Elizabeth. And even if there were, well, how would I find her? How're you going to find another lady friend One who'll make you smile? Think of every moment of the time you'll spend Together all the while Dancing and singing Laughing and kissing Just think of all the fun you'll be missing, boy Until you find your girl Charlie: Well, gee, Freddy, I never thought of it that way. Hey, I got to go! Freddy: Hey Charlie, slow down! Where you rushing off to? Charlie: I'm going to go and find me one of them "new girls." How many did you say there was? Ten? Freddy: That's right. But say, Charlie, how long you going to be gone? Charlie: Until I find my girl
8.
I'm not confused like you, pig You're falling from your tree There's something wrong with you There's something wrong with me There's nothing wrong with me I'm not impressed by you maggots Falling on the sea There's something wrong with you There's nothing wrong with me But there is something definitely wrong with you And the way that you view Your place in the world You are wrong You can say what you want But the truth is so clear How can you think you are better than anyone? The thought of it is really just absurd Your cynical opinions have no depth You're uninsightful and irrelevant, haven't you heard? It's time that you heard I'm not confused like you, twit You Lester Bangs wannabe There's something wrong with you There's nothing wrong with me There's nothing wrong with me I'm not impressed by your rank And tried adolescent ennui There's something wrong with you There's nothing wrong with me But there is something definitely wrong with you And the way that you view Your place in the world You are wrong You can say what you want But the truth is so clear How can you think you are better than anyone? You don't even create, you just critique It's so obscene the way that you derive the words of artists About whom you're not even worthy to speak Not worthy to speak We think that you doubt having truth, truly prophetic It's creepy how you act as if everything is copacetic Your venomous wit is your crutch And your heart is so corrupt You degrade everything you touch Because you're the champion of the dismissive review, yeah In your signature style, we compose this review of you
9.
Staring at a pool of maple licorice Trying to imagine what they taste like Wondering if it's better to imagine than to know I wanted the song to go That's how I wrote it to go The song will never end because it's 3/4 kosher ham
10.
When I was looking for the rainbow Staring at the gorilla I thought we'd share some sundae oh but you ate it all And I was so scared to fall but you were some kind of domino And it was easy so easy so easy to care when you were always there it was easy so easy so easy to care easy when you were always there But now you know I'm not so friendly and all my friends are alone
11.
The spooky spider sat in his web He travels round and round The spooky spider sat in his web He travels round and round The spooky spider sat in his web He travels round and round The spooky spider sat in his web He travels round and round The spooky spider sat in his web He travels round and round
12.
When we're all in a crowd And you catch her eye And then you both smile I feel so good inside And when I'm with her She talks about you The things that you say The things that you do It feels so good to know two people So in love So in love They are friends of mine They are friends of mine And they've got something It's so hard to find They are friends of mine They are friends of mine And they've got something You don't often find She takes your hand When the world stays outside That's something to see That's nothing to hide And when I feel bad When people disappoint me That's when I need you two To help me believe It feels so good to know two people So in love So in love They are friends of mine They are friends of mine And they've got something It's so hard to find They are friends of mine They are friends of mine And they've got something You don't often find It feels so good to know two people So in love So in love They are friends of mine They are friends of mine And they've got something It's so hard to find They are friends of mine They are friends of mine And they've got something You don't often find Will and Laura Jeff and Laura Bill and Amy Eric and Barbara Janie and Kristie Julian and Robbie Bill and Miranda Roxanne and Dave Ah
13.
Is Christmas safe? Is Christmas safe? Is Christmas safe for animals? Soft and squishy animated mammals Tapping so lightly on their teeth with a gun My god, are they cold? Is Christmas safe? Is Christmas safe? Is Christmas safe for animals? Crippled with fear of the sparking wires On an electrical beach Plagued by the thought That a bird cannot smile Why rent when you can own your own washer and dryer for S225 each? Put it on your Sears card! Why rent when you can own your own washer and dryer for S225 each? Put it on your Sears card! Put it on your Sears card! Why rent when you can own your own washer and dryer for just S250 a month? Put it on your Sears card! Why rent when you can own your own washer and dryer for S225 each? Put it on your Sears card! Why rent? Put it on your Sears card! Christmas isn't safe Christmas isn't safe Christmas isn't safe for animals Christmas isn't safe Christmas isn't safe Christmas isn't safe for animals Christmas isn't safe Christmas isn't safe Christmas isn't safe for animals Christmas isn't safe Christmas isn't safe Christmas isn't safe for animals Christmas isn't safe Christmas isn't safe Christmas isn't safe for animals Christmas isn't safe Christmas isn't safe Christmas isn't safe for animals Christmas isn't safe Christmas isn't safe Christmas isn't safe for animals Christmas isn't safe Christmas isn't safe Christmas isn't safe for animals Christmas isn't safe Christmas isn't safe Christmas isn't safe for animals Christmas isn't safe Christmas isn't safe Christmas isn't safe for animals Christmas isn't safe Christmas isn't safe Christmas isn't safe for animals

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Collection of covers, compilation tracks, unreleased material, B-sides and outtakes. The songs on If He Is Protecting Our Nation, Then Who Will Protect Big Oil, Our Children? could very easily feel at home on any of Montreal album.

Previously only available as a UK import from Track & Field.

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released October 23, 2007

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